There are always lateral moves…
A woman walks by my window on a perfect Saturday morning and she’s attached to a large sandy blonde Labradoodle by one of those flexi-leashes that I loathe. If you’re going to walk your dog and train him right, get yourself a harness and a level of discipline that makes more sense for both of you. Especially if you’re working with a new puppy, this will make you both a lot happier in the long run. Both on your walks and in your new life together.
Fortunately for me, the image provides an excellent metaphor for today’s column. There are always lateral moves…
In this case, any time the dog likes, and the owner has released the tension on the leash, he can wander off in a different direction. The same holds true in our own lives. Any time you want, you can change directions. The challenge is that your leash is usually not so flexible. If you’re hooked up to the harness I use to walk Allie, for example, you’re going to have to pull a lot harder and be much more persistent to make a change of direction.
The problem is that very often, we are simply unwilling to pull very hard. Similar to the disciplined and trainable dog, we succomb to the tension and the level of inertia required for change and choose instead to stay on the path. Veering off is just too much work. Too hard. Too confusing. Too much pressure and too much of an exercise in change, and so we would just assume keep walking straight ahead with our blinders on.
The problem is that before you know it, you’ve been walking the same path over and over again for years, and now anything off that path seems like a foreign land and doesn’t feel comfortable, soothing, or familiar to you. This very often happens when I take Allie (my dog) on the EXACT reverse path that we might normally take. She stands in defiance at certain points because she wants to go in the usual direction. The direction she is familiar with and has been trained to walk on most days.
Fortunately, we as humans have bigger, more well developed minds than our best friend and if we are willing, we can bend that mind into new directions, new shapes, and new ways of thinking and being. The problem, of course, is that after years of repetitive work and habits, it can take some real work and discipline to dig hard enough and long enough to re-discover the things you’re passionate about.
I talk a lot on this blog about how frustrating and unnatractive it is for me when clients and people around me spend time justifying their limitations. I think what happens in this process is two things. First, you stop growing. Second, you have to spend a lot more energy in this work than the work involved in re-discovering what excites you and following that path instead. The hard part is in believing this to be true. Because when you think about changing everything you’ve been doing and moving in a totally new direction, the work ahead of you can appear daunting, and that drives your avoidance.
The truth is, however, is that while the work is significant, it won’t bother you that much. Because when you find your passion, and follow the path that exictes you the most, and your creativity and spirit are allowed the chance to bloom…yes, there is still work. But that work is so much more fulfilling and beautiful in its trueness to you that you won’t even notice…
-John
